The Art of Being Gentle with Yourself | Suzette Poon



It is good to hold ourselves accountable, but sometimes we are too hard on ourselves.


Many times we believe that the best way to achieve goals and motivate ourselves is to be tough and criticize ourselves. But over time, this can contribute to depression, unhealthy perfectionism, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

Self-love is an important aspect of self-care that I believe you should engage in on a daily basis.


Being gentle with yourself does not imply that you are not trying your hardest; it simply means showering yourself with love and taking things at a slower pace. I know that "being gentle with yourself" is easier said than done. It is both a process and a practice.


Being mindful


Be mindful and aware how you are speaking to yourself.


Many times when we are in the thick of our day, it is hard to see the negative loop we are in. Notice the moments when you are criticizing yourself. Do you hear yourself saying "I should..."? When you accidentally make a mistake or drop something, do you hear yourself saying, "I am such an idiot", or "I am so clumsy!"?


Is that 100% true that you are clumsy? I guess not!


That's why I encourage you to have grace and kindness for yourself and say, "It is just a cup. I normally don't drop things." Speak to yourself as you would to a friend. Would you berate your friend if she dropped a cup?


We all dread making mistakes, but it is only when we do so that we learn what isn't working and what needs to be changed or improved. We must always remember that we are much more than what we do. While our actions can be improved with practice, our essence -- or self-worth -- is separate from everything else and does not rely on our performance.


Know that you are valuable


Reflect on your strengths. Value yourself, because you are valuable. You add value to people around you, you truly do.


Praise yourself. Acknowledge your accomplishments and take time to celebrate. Our brain needs the rewards and acknowledgement.

And most importantly, learn to say "no" to various commitments and activities that are not in alignment with your values. Learn to be comfortable carving out time to take care of yourself. What would that look like; read a book, nap, exercise, meditation, coffee with a friend, journaling, daydreaming? Most importantly, schedule it into your calendar.


Allow thoughts and feelings to pass you by without passing judgment.


Stop comparing


We all live different lives.


Putting too much attention on what other people do better than us is a trap that no one can avoid. It's deceptive because it causes us to focus on what we have or don't have, rather than on the many gifts and blessings that are already present in our lives.


What if, instead of exhausting yourself, you spent time doing what you enjoy? It gives you more autonomy and peace rather than comparing yourself to others.


Speak kind words


If you're having a hard time in any situation, one thing you can do is think of an affirmation. It's so important to find a saying that you can say to yourself to remind you of your goals.


The point is, when you speak to yourself gently, the universe hears and rewards you with abundance. Not only that, it makes you feel good and serves a reminder that you are in control. It's okay to mess up, just don't beat yourself too much.



We're in this together


Put judgmental thoughts aside and learn to love yourself. Be gentle, kind and take care of yourself. You deserve it!


P.S. I know as a caregiver, it may seem like there isn't any time for us. Feel free to book a complimentary consultation/brainstorming session with me!


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